Tristan James Pehrson

I hadn't been sleeping for weeks.  Neither my mind nor my body would let me.  The night before I was due to go to the hospital to have this baby boy was no different.  I pretty much only had 2, maybe 3 hours of sleep.  I got up at 6:30 a.m. on August 16th, showered, got somewhat ready, grabbed my bags, my husband, a bowl of yogurt and peaches, left Tal in the caring hands of my mom and sister and headed to Clovis Community Medical Center to have our baby.  We got there at 7:30 a.m., but by the time they got all the I.V.'s and everything hooked up they finally got me started on the Pitocin around 9 a.m.  I started to feel some light contractions around 11 a.m. and was only dilated to a 3.  About 2 in the afternoon I was feeling the contractions a lot stronger, but they weren't really painful yet, even though I was dilated to 5 cm and almost fully effaced.  The nurse suggested I get an epidural before the anesthesiologist went into another surgery.  I agreed and he came in promptly.  He was a weird fella, didn't warn me when the needle was going in, which made me jump, which led to a  nice big scratch on my back.  But unlike last time, I instantly felt the medicine fill both sides of my body, and I was warm and tingling within minutes.  I could still move my legs all on my own though, which surprised me, because last time I couldn't lift my legs at all (once they got the epi working correctly).  I figured he did a good job, because I could still move, but not feel anything.  The strong contractions I felt earlier were only small bouts of pressure now.  From 2 p.m. to about 3 p.m. I was in heaven, I felt nothing and I even snoozed a little bit.  Then a contraction woke me up sometime after 3, it didn't feel painless like the others.  It wasn't super bad and I figured I could handle that if they didn't get much worse.  They were coming every 2 minutes and they kept getting more painful.  I told the nurse, she checked, and I was still dilated to 5 cm.  She called the anesthesiologist, and he was in the surgery still.  For the next 40 minutes the contractions got very, very bad.  My entire tailbone was screaming in pain and the whole nether region was burning.  Finally around 4 p.m. the Anesthesiologist came in the room and put something (I don't even know what it is still) in my line.  It was supposed to relieve the pain quickly.  Instead it made me nauseous and weak.  I thought perhaps I would either pass out or throw up.  I was shaking, sick, and was still having very painful contractions.  I told the nurse my pain was at a level 8 or 9 even with the "medicine" he just popped in.  I also thought maybe my water broke because I felt some warm something spreading all over.  She said, "well let me check you again." (uhh... good idea!)  "Well no wonders you were in so much pain sweetheart" the nurse explains calmly, "You dilated from 5 cm to 9 cm in about 40 minutes.  Your water didn't brake, that is just blood from all the cervical change."  She said she would call my doctor now, because I was going to be having this baby any minute now.

I looked at Cody and just started bawling.  I honestly don't know what came over me.  It wasn't because I was scared, nervous or even anxious.  I wasn't even crying from the pain.  I was so extremely happy and ready to meet this little guy.  I was thinking back on the past 9 months and how much we had been through, how hard and stressful this pregnancy was for me.  I think I just got overwhelmed with the fact it would all be over, and life with baby would be starting.  I also knew it was only going to get more stressful.  Cody held my hands and tried to comfort me as I bawled and hiccuped on and off in-between contractions, for the next 15 to 20 minutes, while we waited for my doctor.  The doctor walked in and saw my face and said, "I would ask how things are going, but by the looks of it, not so good." Nurse and my doctor kept asking if I was okay.  I told them I had no idea why I was crying, but that they were happy tears.  I eventually pulled myself together to get ready to start pushing.  It was probably 4:45ish when we started.  I didn't feel much pain in my back or uterus but I felt everything down below and especially in my tailbone.  OUCH!  What is it with me and epidurals, we just don't get  along.

Pushing was probably the hardest part because the "medicine" made me so weak, on top of having no food all day and I was just so spent.  But I was determined to get this baby out quickly because I wanted the pain over with.  I did ask for a mirror so I could watch my progress.  I gave it everything I had, literally, there was one time I had to stop in the middle of a push because I started to black out and didn't want to pass out. It felt like forever to me but it was only about 15 minutes later when the crowning happened.  My mom had explained this moment to me before and now I can empathize with what she was telling me.  It is the most  painful, burning feeling ever.  My doctor said, "Jocelyn, if you can push a little more he will come out right now."  That was enough motivation for me.  I took a deep breath and pushed with all my might and whoosh, his head came out.  Another small push and the rest his body followed, and with it the pain and the most relieving moment for me physically.  The best moment emotionally was seeing and hearing my little gooey bundle. I got a nice kiss from my loving spouse.  We were so happy he was here.  They wiped his face off and handed him to me.  I was so in love already.  He calmed down instantly once in my arms.  I took a few moments to adore him while Cody cut the chord, then he got his chance to hold him for a few moments while I pushed the placenta out.  I felt so empty, the pressure was off and yet I felt so full of joy.  They took him away to do there weighing, measuring, foot prints and other testing as I sat on the bed and got stitched up.  Cody went nuts taking pictures.  I enjoyed watching Cody's smiling, adoring face as he watched it all.

Now for the pictures...

Tristan James Pehrson, born on August 16th, 2012 at 4:58 p.m. at Clovis Community Medical Center in Clovis, California.  

Weighing 6 lbs 5.4 oz, 18 inches long, nice and red, a little more hair than his brother and bluish green eyes (so far) and Perfect in every way.

First Kisses

Talmage: "Not sure of this little guy, but I guess he did give me a helicopter, so he must be okay." (Thanks Jen for the advice, great idea)

First Family Photo.

Brothers

And the ugliest photo of me to date.  At 7 a.m. right before going to the hospital. 

The last pregnancy shot. 39 weeks and 1 day.